If you've been feeling anxious, overwhelmed, or even afraid lately, you’re not alone. For many of us, the world feels unsteady: political tensions, global conflicts, economic stress, and an endless stream of concerning news. It’s a lot, and keeping up with it all can feel both necessary and impossible. Tuning it out can feel essential yet guilt inducing... and on top of it, there’s still everyday life to manage: deadlines to meet, bills to pay, messages to reply to, and a neverending to do list to tackle.
If you're like me, despite knowing that self-care is important, it might feel like it’s out of reach right now. Who has the spoons for a perfectly curated morning routine when your brain won’t stop spinning? How do you engage in a fun hobby when you're deeply worried about the concerning things happening around you?
That’s why I want to share a simple mantra that is currently shaping my own personal self-care approach: “Sprinkles, not cake.”
A Personal Realization: My Love for Cake and My Need for Sprinkles
I LOVE cake and, and with my birthday coming up, I’ve been thinking about baking my absolute favorite cake: a big, yellow layered cake covered in rich buttercream frosting, decorated with brightly colored sprinkles. It’s my idea of perfection.
Lately, I’ve been honest with myself: I’m emotionally exhausted, overstimulated, and stretched thin. Between work, family life, and the weight of everything happening in the world, I’ve been craving self-care but not getting much of it, if any at all.
The problem? I don’t have the time or energy for the beautifully frosted, layered “cake” of my self-care routine right now. I crave it, I think about it, but it simply feels impossible right now. My nervous system, however, has been loudly reminding me that doing zero self-care isn’t helping me either.
So I came up with a simple reminder for myself: “Sprinkles, not cake.” Instead of waiting for perfect conditions to take care of myself, I’m focusing on tiny, intentional moments scattered throughout my day. Self-care isn’t just about self-indulgence, it’s about sustaining your ability to engage with and resist the world around you.
How I Break Down My Own Self-Care as a Therapist
As a therapist, I know how essential self-care is. But as a human, I too struggle at times to make it fit into my busy life.
So here’s my personal approach to my own self-care:
Tune In: I ask myself what I’m craving. I go inward and listen to my body. What does my mind, body, and soul long for right now? What would feel comforting, nourishing, or fulfilling? What unmet needs do I currently have?
Dream Big: I write down my ideal self-care “cake”, the things that would nourish me deeply. Even if they don't seem realistic, accessible, or possible- I write it all down.
Deconstruct It Into "Sprinkles": I break that "cake" down into tiny, realistic, manageable moments of care. What little piece of my "cake" can I access and experience right now?
Here are a few examples:
My self-care "cake": I crave long, unrushed walks with my dog, but lately, that feels impossible with my packed schedule.
My "sprinkle": Taking my dog for a quick, mid-day walk around the block, just to get fresh air, movement, and a bit of solo time to connect with my pup.
My self-care "cake": I long for days dedicated to creative time... painting, embroidery, crafting. As a mom of little ones, uninterrupted time seems like a distant fantasy.
My "sprinkle": Adding a few stitches to my embroidery hoop or a couple of watercolor strokes in the morning before my kids wake up. It’s not a finished project, but it’s a calm, intentional moment of creativity.
Why Sprinkles Matter
Let’s be honest: sprinkles will never replace a full slice of cake. But when there’s no cake? Sprinkles still do a lot of good.
If you've ever been around kids (or adults like myself), then you likely know the magic of sprinkles. A piece of toast becomes “magical rainbow toast” with just a dash of sprinkles. Yogurt turns into a party with a few sprinkles on top. A sprinkle coated rim instantly transforms a boring beverage into a fancy beverage.
The same goes for self-care.
Self-care "sprinkles" won’t fix everything. But they can add a little color, a little joy, a bit of safety, or a little lightness to a heavy day. Tiny moments of care can help you reclaim bits of control when everything around you feels out of control.
What Might Your Self-Care Sprinkles Look Like?
Your sprinkle doesn’t need to be big. Maybe it’s:
A moment to enjoy a favorite candle
Watching a cute dog video
Reading just two pages of a cozy book
Taking three deep breaths
Massaging your scalp while shampooing your hair
Holding a hug with a safe person for just one extra moment
Self-care "sprinkles" are about being kind to yourself, even when life feels unkind. You don’t need to feel like you must always be on high alert, even though it can be hard to find peace when your body and mind are on guard. You can’t control everything happening in the world, but you can control how you care for yourself within it so you can keep showing up when and where it matters most.
Finding Hope in Radical Love and Choice
Self-care is a form of resistance. As the late Bell Hooks reminds us in All About Love, love is not passive; it’s an active force that requires effort and care, especially in times of distress. Love becomes a radical act of resistance against the systems that seek to diminish us. Self-care, then, is not a selfish or lazy indulgence, it’s the act of preserving ourselves so we can continue showing up for those we love and the causes we care about.
The late Audre Lorde, too, emphasizes that in the face of oppression, self-care is an act of self-preservation, it is a necessary tool for survival, a way for us to resist burnout and reclaim our strength. As Lorde writes, “Caring for myself is not self-indulgence, it is self-preservation, and that is an act of political warfare.”
Viktor Frankl also offers a powerful reminder: in even the darkest of times, we always have the ability to choose our response. No one can take that from us. When everything feels overwhelming, choosing to care for yourself is a way to maintain that power, to stay grounded, and to be able to keep moving forward.
If your usual self-care feels impossible right now, that’s okay. Sometimes, you need small intentional moments, tiny "sprinkles" of care to carry you through. One deep breath. One pause. One moment of joy, safety, creativity, or connection.
You deserve to feel steady, even when everything else around you feels shaky. If you’re struggling right now, know that you’re not alone. And while the world can feel overwhelming, there’s power in the small things, the sprinkles. Take a moment, take a breath, take care of yourself. Your nervous system requires it, and you are worthy of it.
About the author: Sarah Santiago is a licensed professional counselor in Michigan. She provides virtual therapy to Michigan college students and young professionals throughout Michigan. Her specialties include helping clients work through stress, anxiety, eating disorders, improving self-compassion, overcoming people pleasing, and more. Learn more about Sarah, here.
Note: This blog post is not intended to replace or serve as professional advice or therapy. If you are concerned about your mental health, it is recommended to consult with a licensed mental health professional. If you are experiencing a mental health crisis know that you matter and there are compassionate people available to offer you free and confidential support right now- please let them offer you their help. You can find crisis resources here. If you're experiencing a medical emergency, please call 911 immediately.
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