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  • Writer's pictureSarah Santiago

Nurturing Healthy Relationships: Coping with Jealousy





Jealousy is a complex emotion that can arise in even the healthiest relationships. For college students navigating new friendships, romantic partnerships, and social dynamics, jealousy can be a common experience. It's important to address these feelings in a constructive manner to maintain the well-being of both yourself and your relationships. In this blog post, we will provide valuable tips for college students to cope with feelings of jealousy and foster healthy relationships.


1. Understand the Root of Jealousy:

Reflect on the underlying reasons behind your feelings of jealousy. Jealousy often stems from insecurities, fear of abandonment, or low self-esteem. I often like to reframe jealousy as a compass that is often pointing towards something we desire for ourselves. By exploring the root causes, you can begin to understand yourself, and begin to address this emotion more effectively.

2. Thoughts and Feelings Are Not Facts

Remember that jealousy is an emotion. We likely experience thoughts related to our feelings of jealousy. It is important to take some time to gently (and without judgement) explore and sit with our thoughts and feelings. Exploring our inner world can feel very insightful. It's also important to remember that thoughts and feelings are not facts. For example, just because I think "I am not a good friend" does not necessarily mean that it true, especially if I don't have any evidence or feedback to support this thought.


3. Open and Honest Communication:

Sometimes we can work though jealousy on our own, and sometimes it may be useful to be open about these emotions with our support network. It's helpful to create a safe and open space for communication within your relationships. Talk openly and assertively with your partner or friends about your feelings of jealousy, expressing your emotions in a non-accusatory manner. Honest conversations can foster understanding, empathy, and trust. Having open and meaningful conversations can make space to process and work through feelings of jealousy.


4. Challenge Negative Thoughts:

Recognize that jealousy often leads to negative self-talk and distorted thinking patterns. Challenge these thoughts by questioning their validity and considering alternative perspectives. Replace negative thoughts with more positive and realistic ones to promote a healthier mindset.


5. Practice Self-Care and Self-Validation:

Focus on self-care activities that boost your self-esteem and well-being. Engage in hobbies, exercise, practice mindfulness, or engage in activities that bring you joy and fulfillment. Remind yourself of your worth and value, independent of external factors.

6. Build Self-Confidence:

Work on building your self-confidence by setting achievable goals, celebrating your accomplishments, and practicing self-compassion. Engaging in activities that showcase your strengths and abilities can help counteract feelings of inadequacy or comparison. Consider ways to protect your energy from sources of jealousy; often this may involve unfollowing or muting accounts that make you question your worth, or even taking a break from social media platforms that trigger jealously and self esteem issues.

7. Cultivate Trust:

Trust is the foundation of healthy relationships. Nurture trust by fostering open and honest communication, demonstrating reliability, and maintaining transparency. Building trust takes time, but it is vital in overcoming jealousy and strengthening your relationships.


8. Develop a Support System:

Seek support from trusted friends, mentors, or a therapist. Discussing your feelings with others who can provide guidance and perspective can be invaluable in managing jealousy. A supportive network can also offer reassurance, understanding, and advice.

9. Practice Mindfulness:

Engage in mindfulness techniques to stay present and reduce jealousy-triggering thoughts. Mindfulness exercises, such as deep breathing, meditation, or journaling, can help you stay grounded and focused on the present moment rather than getting caught up in anxious or jealous thoughts.


10. Focus on Gratitude:

Cultivate an attitude of gratitude within your relationships. Express appreciation for the positive aspects of your connections, focusing on the strengths and qualities that attract you to others. Practicing gratitude can shift your focus from jealousy to appreciation.


Jealousy is a normal and common emotion. It can sometimes pose challenges within relationships, but by adopting healthy coping strategies, fostering open communication, and prioritizing self-care, you can navigate these feelings constructively. Understand the root of your jealousy, communicate openly, challenge negative thoughts, practice self-care, build self-confidence, cultivate trust, develop a support system, practice mindfulness, and focus on gratitude. By implementing these tips, you can foster healthy relationships and promote your own well-being as a college student. Remember, nurturing healthy connections is a journey, and with self-awareness and effort, you can create fulfilling and jealousy-free relationships.


*Please know that I am not talking about unhealthy, toxic, or abusive relationships here. It's important to keep yourself safe and seek help and support if you believe you may be in an unhealthy relationship.


Note: This blog post is not intended to replace professional advice. If you are experiencing severe anxiety or mental health issues, it is recommended to consult with a licensed mental health professional. If you are in a crisis, please seek help immediately.


National Domestic Violence Hotline: Call: 800-799-7233 Text*: START to 88788 TTY: 800-787-3224 Chat: https://thehotline.org


About the author: Sarah Santiago is a licensed professional counselor in Michigan. She provides therapy to Michigan college students and emerging adults (ages 18-29) virtually. Her specialties include helping clients work through anxiety, eating disorders, and improving self-confidence.





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